Lost, afraid, and drowning...why won't you save me?

So, we live in worlds of double and triple edged swords. Only hope and despair leave us with the thoughts of which to swallow. So, in my world I have learned I'm easily replaceable, but true, that leaves me easily placeable, but still very replaceable. Where do I stand? The wind cries, I hate you, and I am banged against of wall of unlove. I am afraid of too much these days. I am afraid of change, but this familiar world that hates me pures my insides and makes me scream. They say the little things shouldn't make me cry, but that is all I have to hold. I am left drowning in pool I used to navigate with my eye closed. I am worried, and I can't deal with this fear. I am running face forward into a wall, and all I am give is a nothing second longer of running towards it, another inch for it to fall back, inch by inch, I get closer and it gets further, and then closer, than further. I feel lost.
I want to war against it. They were created to be my enemy but I can't fight them anymore. I'm tired but too tired of being tired. I want to sleep forever, but if I fall asleep it will only be morning again. I wait for the next weekend to sleep my world away, but then time moves faster down, and another week wasted disappears.
Sorry, break for fixing the crappy music. I like music. Do you? It soothes the rotting beast:). I dream of writing better things. Like story A or story B. Moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo...moo. I think I like this song for only the reason that it hits beats of three high, three low. Makes good moo dot, dot, dot. Oh, this one has, three dot. mmoo..mmoo..mmoo..mmoo.. OK, two two twos..BLA!!!!